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Hundreds of years from now when some diligent archeologist unearths a cocktail lounge, will he recognize the great significance of his find? The trendy nightspot was the key to the survival of the human race. It's here that the mating dance took place here under soft lights accompanied by generally lame language and liquid libido enhancing concoctions. Here that the males and females battled for the pick of the pack. As they sift through the compacts and condoms, PDA's and neckties, worn credit cards, they'll discover all the evidence of our flirting, negotiating, meeting and greeting on the way to the big “D.”

And will they ask: How did this ritual evolve?

In the beginning there was Adam and Eve. For centuries, members of the opposite sex met according to very restrictive mating rituals. Arranged marriages, chaperoned meets and loveless couplings were the norm. Then along came that rebellious twosome Romeo and Juliet. The origins for the modern day date probably evolved from their midnight trysts. I'm sure they had no idea of the Pandora's Box they opened by creating the “date”, a random, inefficient, generally uncomfortable exercise in the coupling of the sexes.

Dating is the modern day equivalent of a medieval torture chamber. The devious device usually includes clumsy icebreakers, forced quick introductions and an endless line of “you're just like the guys/girls I dated in high school…in college…last year…last week.” Maybe arranged meetings and marriages make sense. In that scenario both people are single, pre-qualified (translation ready for a serious relationship) and uncomfortable. Rather than the current relationship roulette where determining single status and availability makes everyone squirm on their bar stools.

Gone is the safe world of society introductions, respected matchmakers and “your cousin in Jersey.” Left to our own devices we've got to figure out where the guys and gals are, what they offer, whose available and how to seal the deal or in other words: get the date. There's a lot of work involved here. Most of us would appreciate a little help from our friends. That's where you come in.

A lot of you reading this column are single. If you're ready to try something new, THE LINEUP is starting THE ROTATION. No games, no name tags, no sign in sheets, no cover charge - just a great place filled with a lotta great people. I invite you, and you invite a friend who invites a friend—until it's six degrees of socialization.

What if there was a completely no pressure, no hassle, no stress way to meet the opposite sex, gain some golf buddies, make that business connection, or imagine...just have a good time—ok there's really no such animal but we at THE LINEUP thought we'd give it a try anyway with THE ROTATION. Why? Because all too often we've heard the familar cries - "there's nothing going on," or "there's no one around that we want to do anything with," or "where is everyone tonight," or "where are all of the cool, hip, intelligent, sophisticated urban people like me?" And as we all (single and married) have a lot of cool friends - let's share the wealth! THE ROTATION is just what it sounds like, a gathering of great people rotating around the bay to great places. Let's connect all our friends on Friday, December 12 at THE ROTATION - upstairs at the XYZ Bar at The W Hotel (3rd and Howard), SF.

We're mixing up the weekend scene every couple of weeks or so with different venues, drink specials, VIP access and beautiful people. Dating is fraught with danger and dilemmas. I challenge you to be brave, show up and cause much to happen. Married or involved? Come along to support your single brethren, but remember - you're already taken! One rule - you can only invite the best and the brightest of your friends, and together we'll create a crowd where everybody knows somebody wonderful. Right?!

But before we get too excited here, I want to remind my single comrades of some of the realities of dating. Because when it comes to the dating scene there are a few things that have survived the ages. If you want to be among the strong who survive take note.

1. Every body is afraid of the opposite sex—men and women. It seems like everybody holds their breath before they jump into the pool of possible pairs.

2. There are leg men, breast men, guys into gals with “a little meat on their bones”, the six-pack divas and white-collar-only-need-apply females. You'd best remember that while there is something for everyone, the dating scene is an imperfect marketplace. You might have to travel far and wide, vary your routine, and explore new venues to meet your perfect match.

3. If you think it's a numbers game, you're bound to be disappointed when playing the dating game. There are a lot more 7's than 10's and very few people think you're in their top ten. You do the math.

4. Often black women don't go out unless they're guaranteed black men will be there. In the bay area that eliminates most bars, clubs, and restaurants. Maybe it includes sporting events, although it's hard to achieve critical mass among the tens of thousands there; and at churches and charitable events—get a clue- the guys there are married.

5. Quelle horrors!! You do make it out the door into the scene and some of the black men there are choosing partners from the “fairer” sex. So what? Get over it and move on...this is 2003.

6. Wouldn't it be great if we could review your “Romance Resume” at the door. Then when you asked us out we could cut to the chase. Let's see: didn't call when you said you would, dropped your ex by email, oh and of course, still married. This eliminates the ”fronting” factor.

7. Every guy thinks he can get any woman—he either thinks he's young and handsome—he's got all his hair and his teeth—or he's old and cuddly- translation “I've got bank and it rolls” as one of my forty-something male friend likes to say.

8. It's really all about T & A: time and appearance. You've got to make time to meet at lot of new people each week and you've got to make an appearance outside your home and/or office. Don't ignore the other T & A, it counts too. Always did, and always will.

9. How much eye contact is permissible for that first “I'm interested” look? Some experts suggest a fleeting 3 seconds glance. Be careful of the there's-no-mistaking-my-interest full on stare. Avoid the deer-in-the-headlights glare.

10. If you want to meet men; girls don't travel in packs. Men won't target a herd. They're more likely to approach the babe who's wandered off from her friends. She just looks lonely and in need of some company.

10½. And girls remember to keep it simple. Don't wear a lot of rings with that cocktail dress. If it's too hard to figure out if you're single they'll just look elsewhere. Marketing 101: don't make the customer work too hard to figure out the product.

With this in mind, it's hard to believe dating should be fun. Try. I'm not suggesting that THE ROTATION will eliminate all the distasteful dating dilemmas or get you that career making business deal. Yet, the potential is there to create a diverse gene pool of sensational singles and great contacts. Try inviting someone you'd date yourself or guys who you'd be happy dating your sister. Or bring along that friend who knows everyone so we can get to them as well. Fetch your “life of the party” friends (marriage license holders included) and let's improve the evolution of the weekend!

THE ROTATION

Friday, December 12

6pm until

Upstairs at the XYZ Bar - The W Hotel (3rd and Howard), SF

Email me at JERUSHA@viplineup.com

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